100 Themes : Україна
by Sydney the Sydster
Summary: She hopes, in the end, she can still remain strong.  100 themes, all revolving around Ukraine and those who've shared a history with her.


They skip around a lot but, they're here. Angst ahoy.

**DISCLAIMER : **Do not own Axis Powers Hetalia, the country Ukraine, or most things mentioned here.

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**1. Introduction**

She is born in the fall, when the wind is soft and the leaves are falling in preparation for winter. She was not an expected birth, nor a wanted one but, her mother loves her none the less. She's a strange little babe, with blue eyes like the summer sky and hair like wheat. Kieven Rus is her mother's name, and, she is inexperienced and awkward when holding her first born. The violet eyed woman knows nothing but the feel of a weapon, so this tiny, squirming babe is new to her. The little one becomes known as "_Ukraina"_, the borderlands but, behind closed doors she is Yekaterina.

To her siblings, which will come later, she is "Syestra" and "Katya" but, to her mother, to Kieven Rus, she will always be Yekaterina, the strange babe with beautiful blue eyes.

Pure, like the sky.

Yes, to her mother, she will always be Yekaterina.

**2. Love**

In the winter they're joined by a second baby. He's bigger then Yekaterina and screams louder then she ever did. To the little girl he is a foreigner, an invader to her little life. She loves him from the start. He, with his big nose and wheat colored hair. They, the strange men her Mama is always around, give the babe a strange name. When they're not around, Mama calls him Ivan. Katya calls him _Vanya_ and, from that day on, she is his. Mama leaves them, after Vanya's birth, leaves them in a tiny house away from her capital.

Katya still loves her Mama, even when she does return.

Vanya is needy though, Vanya is her baby so, Katya loves him more.

She will still love him, even as he grows and his mind leaves him.

Katya will always love her Vanya, her Mama, and the third sibling that will join them one day.

She will always love them.

**8. Away**

They weren't suppose to see each other anymore. It wasn't _allowed_, her boss had made that painfully clear. Russia was bad, bad for Ukraine, bad for her people, seeing him would just bring about bad things. She needed to stop thinking about him, that's what her boss said. Concentrate on something else.

She couldn't.

She just _couldn't_, Russia- _Vanya_ needed her, she knew he did. He had to. They, him, Natasha, and herself, had been together so long, so very long- Her boss didn't understand. She wasn't going back to him, she wasn't visiting _Russia_, she was just- She was just visiting her little brother. Her little brother that she had left, and must have been so miserable. He hated being alone and, that's what she had done. She had left him, left her poor little brother all alone. Left him all alone in that big house of his, that cold house of his. There was no one there to feed him anymore, no one to fix his scarf or, to make sure he was getting sleep... Her boss said their would be people checking on him occasionally, he was a nation his leader would have to make sure he was okay but, her boss just didn't understand. No one knew her Vanya like she did. He wouldn't eat if he didn't have to, he wouldn't sleep, not when he was alone. He would just drink his vodka and-

Ooh, it wasn't like she regretted leaving him! Nonono! It wasn't like that at all! Her people were happy now, _so _happy! But- she loved her brother, she loved _both_ of her siblings so much... he just couldn't abandon them- She had to make sure they were okay. Natasha, she could take care of herself, she was so strong (stronger then Katya herself could ever hope to be) but, Vanya- Her little Vanya- He crumbled so easily, he was- the years had not been kind to him. They had changed her little Vanya, they had ruined him. She had to make sure he was alright, she had to take care of him, no one else would...

But she couldn't.

It was- It wasn't fair. She had been ruled by others all her life but, even when she was _free_ she couldn't do what she wanted. It wasn't total freedom- She was still ruled over by someone else-

M-maybe if she asked nicely she could- No, they wouldn't let her. They never let her.

Even when she was free... Even when she was independent-

"I'm sorry _Vanya_, I'm sorry- I can't see you, my boss said- I'm s-sorry-"

She always was.

**12. Insanity**

When she is returned, free from Toris and Feliks and with her brother once more, she does not see it. She does not see the dark look in his eye, the short smiles or the way he's just _not_ there. She does not see it because she is so happy, she is free, and her brother, _her_ Vanya is there and they do not have to be apart anymore. She does not see the madness, the madness in her brother, because she's hugging him and sobbing. Soon he comes and takes Natasha from them, from Toris, and they can be a family again. She does not see the madness then, nor later when he reclaims all of her land past the Dnieper as his own.

She does not see the madness within her sister, either. The dark look, the quiet voice, _the obsession_, she sees none of it back then.

Years later, though, when she's mending her own broken bones (because Vanya always breaks his toys), she realizes there has always been a madness in her family.

By then it's too late though, her siblings are too far gone to help. She stays anyway, despite this, because she is their sister and she will protect them from everything, even themselves, if she must. That is what good sisters do.

Katya is a good sister.

**22. Mother**

Once upon a time, Katya had a mother. She was a pretty woman, a woman with hair like Katya's own and dark violet eyes. Katya called her "Mama", other people though, called her "Kieven Rus". Katya doesn't remember her Mama much anymore. She died a long time ago, too sick to ever heal. It was her time to go, they all said so, Katya let her go. She's not around anymore but, sometimes, if she looks really hard, Katya can see traces of her Mama within her little brother's eyes or in her sister's smile. Katya knows her Mama lives on so, she doesn't have to think of her much. And she's alright with that.

Ivan and Natalia, though, they never had a Mama. Well, they did, once but, they don't remember her. They don't recall her violet eyes, much like Ivan's own, or her hard stare. They don't know of how she could be gentle but, only when around her children. They don't remember their Mama, Katya's Mama, they dont know of her.

Instead of her, they had Katya.

And they're alright with that.

**63. Do not Disturb**

She finds it funny, no matter how far apart their bedrooms use to be, that somehow they would all end up sleeping together in her bed. It would never be intentional but, somehow it would always happen. Ivan would always come first, his thundering footsteps breaking the silence within the house. Natasha would come later, far later, when the moon was high in the sky and the stars were still bright. They would lay together, like when they were young, and Katya would hold them both close to herself while murmuring lullabies into the still night air. She would joke, back then, when they were all piled together, that she should just sleep in Ivan's bed, instead, since it was bigger. Ivan would glance at her, asking why would his sister need to sleep in his bed when she had her own. And she would laugh, never really answering his question. And they would stay like that, until sleep claimed them.

The servants would always find them, in the morning, clinging to each other in their sleep, as if their life depended on it.

This does not happen anymore, though and, now, Katya misses those days very much. She hopes, wishes, for days like those again though, and for days of the past, when they were happy.

She always wishes for things she can not have.


End file.
